I love you Eric and I miss you very much. I have no doubt that you are my guardian angel after the car accident I was in a week a half ago. I am a very lucky girl to walk away from that without even a scratch on me when my car was totaled and a van hit me three times and then sent me flying into a semi truck. I wish more then any thing that you were here with me. I have a really hard time with you not being here. I am always depressed not having you to talk to and having you to support me and back me up and to have you to depend on. You were the one that I always knew that I could count on no matter what my problem was. I have a hard time even sleeping now I have nightmares watching people I love die in different ways and I try to save them but there is nothing I can do I am always helpless no matter how hard I try they always die. I think it comes down to my fear of losing someone else that I love so dearly as you. You were by far my best friend I wish I had told you more often how much you meant to me. But at the same time there are a lot of things that I wish I had not said as well. I wish we had a lot more time together. Some times I am mad that you wont be able to be in my wedding when Dan and I get married and its frustrating thinking about that. I wonder if I am going to have an emtional break down on my big day just because my big brother isn't there. Which is really hard for me because I think that should be the happiest day of my life yet all I can think about is I wonder how emotional I will be and how much I will cry and just how I will get through that day with out Eric there with me. I love you Eric its geting harder as its getting closer to the holidays.