Hey Eric I cant believe that you have been gone for four years now. I miss you so much that I could never even begin to put into words. Since losing you I have not been the same in any way. My personality has changed. I am not that happy bubbly person any more. part of me has a lot of anger still towards that fact that you are gone and you held so much promise for life and the things that you could do. Yet I am the one that always struggled in life so much. I am here and your not its not fair that you left and went to heaven and left me alone. The fact that you aren't going to get to be at my wedding this coming fall is tearing me apart. I try to be so strong and not cry and only think about you with happy thoughts. But the truth is I fell like a huge part of me is missing and I don't know what to do. You are the one I always counted on to be here for me during my hard times and yet I dont have you here for that now its hard for me. I feel like every thing that was and I loved in life has all chaged since you left. My health hasnt been as good, dad isn't working, I just feel lost in life with out you here. I said I feel anger but its not at you its at life in general. I feel cheated in a lot of ways. There were so many things I wish I would have told you I just never got to. You didnt go to heaven alone that I a sure you, you took a huge part of me with you. That is a part of me that I have yet to truly learn to live with out. Part of me wishes more then any thing in the world that I could just go back in time and save you. I love you beyond words could ever say or even express. I LOVE YOU ERIC!!! You were always so protective over me and I was over you too. I so miss you.